In the final part of the disaster series, I thought we should consider the area that we all fear the most, the eradication of mankind due to a Zombie Apocalypse.
Zombies may be slow-moving creatures with an unquenchable thirst for blood but get caught without an escape route and you will be condemned to living your final moments on this earth being eaten alive. And worse still, get scratched or bitten by a zombie and you will become one of the undead horde yourself.
So…what should you ensure you do if the proverbial hits the fan?
- There may be better hope outdoors than in a small house with a lot of windows. While zombies are not creative, they will certainly smash their way in eventually and you will be trapped. Unless you have a fort, be aware of your escape route.
- Ensure you have weapons that are capable to destroying the brain of the zombie. Either by decapitation, blunt force trauma or a bullet to head. I recommend a sharp axe or a 44-Magnum.
- Until petrol supplies are lost, you may be able to make for isolated locations in a car. Be warned that if you have a car which has a self-closing boot (like a Nissan Murano), a quick getaway or the ability to get to weapons quickly can be hampered. The less gizmos that can scupper your journey, the better.
- Your best bet may be a boat. New Zealand has a lot of water and a lot of boats so get out of here! Zombies are not known for their swimming prowess but do not chance walking around barefoot in the shallows as zombies do not need to breathe either. Of course be aware that other countries may have similar issues.
- Ensure you have people with you who are slower than you. This way, in a chase scenario, they will get picked off first. Show no mercy and don’t do the British “after you” thing!
- Keep quiet. You don’t want to draw attention to yourself. This is no place for children so ensure they know that noise = death.
I hope these tips are useful. There are many things you can and should do in survival scenarios and who knows how any of us will react unless we are unfortunate enough to be in one…I know one thing…I would rather be a long way away from a disaster or not given time to escape…than to have the terror of dealing with the aftermath.
Be careful out there!
We have covered off the main geographical and indeed geothermal threats to New Zealand residents but you must be mindful of the threat from the heavens. Scientists are discovering new possibly inhabitable planets at quite a rate so what if an alien race made contact with us? And what if their intentions were not honourable? Here is my made up advice…and do please suggest further actions…
- Stay hidden, it is highly likely that the alien technology is superior to ours (they got here didn’t they?).
- Try to avoid thinking about where you are, the aliens may have telekinetic powers and be able to locate you that way.
- Consider living underground where it is harder to reach you.
- Stockpile food if you can, or organise raiding parties to loot abandoned supermarkets and warehouses. Tinned food is especially useful.
- Have a getaway kit handy as in a volcanic eruption situation (see previous disaster).
- Remember that bacteria might see them off (as in H.G. Wells’ classic tale!) so being patient could be key.
- Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can convince nice Mr Alien to be reasonable. They have proved their malice already and you are just not talking their language.
- Trying to grow or harvest fresh food puts you above ground and at risk. If you must do this, be extra cautious.
- Gathering in large groups could be a mistake unless said group is heavily armed. Humans are inherently noisy and could attract attention.
- The elderly, infirm and small children should be left behind to perish. They will only slow you down and while everyone likes to feel good about themselves, you need to think of yourself. If you have managed to get them to safety and need a sacrifice, that is another option.
- Under no circumstances should you volunteer for the next anal probing drive.
A little tongue in cheek I know…but maybe, just maybe…
So, you’ve survived a quake…and a tsunami…but now there is a new volcano emerging in the locality. OMG!
There are more than 50 eruptive centres recognised in the central Auckland area (why did anyone think that building a city here was a good idea?) and a large part of Auckland is at risk from future volcanic activity. Rangitoto is the largest in the area and last erupted about 750 years ago…delightfully reminding you of the potential from just off-shore.
Unlike with earthquakes, hopefully a bit of notice would be available here. There are precautions you can take such as organising a getaway kit (torch, water, batteries, food etc) and a survival kit…both of these should be maintained. In the event of a major eruption, you should make your way to safe ground and follow civil defence advice.
- DO save water at an early stage as supplies may become polluted (fill your bath!)
- DO conserve water
- DO stay indoors as much as possible
- DO keep pets indoors
- DO keep separate clothes worn outside – volcanic ash is hard to get rid of – and take them off before entering a building
- DO wear a mask and goggles if you go outside – this will help keep ash out of your eyes and lungs
- DO keep below ridge lines in hilly terrain as the hill will offer protection from flying debris
- DO keep gutters and roof clear of ash – heavy deposits can cause a collapse
- DON’T go sightseeing in a restricted area
- DON’T leave home unless advised to do so, and if you do, switch off gas and electricity and take your getaway kit with you.
Hopefully it never happens. And if it does (which is probable), hopefully it isn’t the size of Lake Taupo going up because that was seen in Europe!
OK, so following on from last week…you have survived the earthquake…but what about that tidal wave that is approaching the shore? This is serious stuff…so here are some more disaster tips…
I was intrigued to discover that there are 3 types of tsunami…
- distant source with 3-12 hours travel time to New Zealand
- regional source with 1-3 hours travel time to New Zealand
- local source with less than 1 hour travel time to New Zealand
The source will influence the response but there is little you can do about a local one. You need to be aware of natural triggers such as earthquakes and the sea receding. Many coastal cities have emergency sirens.
- Do NOT go down to the sea or to rivers.
- Civil defence advice will be broadcast on the radio (and there are many civil defence registration points in the country – you should proceed to your local one in an evacuation).
- Obey the instructions of civil defence and emergency services.
The aim is to get to high ground if possible. Be aware that phone networks may be down and if you have a portable radio and batteries, take it with you.
Do NOT go back to the sea until you are told it is safe to do so as the first wave is often followed by more.